With almost half of first marriages ending unhappily, and an even higher number of second marriages doing the same, it's apparent that the mountain of self-help marriage books, Dr. Phil instant-therapy shows and widely-available marriage counseling is not keeping marriages from going under.

However, every now and again we come across a relationship book that has a WOW factor, and that describes Dr. Scott Haltzman's groundbreaking, The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever.

Dr Haltzman, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University and a couples and individual counselor, astutely noticed that many men in counseling held back with a serious hesitation to express their feelings and fears. He launched a web site, as a way to research and support husbands' marriage skills, and after communicating with countless men, amassed a vast amount of revealing information about men and marriage.

The results have been skillfully distilled into this enlightening, helpful book that should be on the must-read list for both men and women in relationships.

Haltzman's book celebrates the equality of the sexes and acknowledges their innate strengths and skills. However, the distinguishing message is that there are real and undeniable biological and emotional differences between men and women that must be comprehended and used to benefit the relationship, not to create more tension.

The author explains, in an easily accessible style, why men don't need to reinvent themselves in order to improve relationship skills. He describes the biological reasons why men and women differ in how they think and feel, particularly the structure of the brain that determines how we perceive the world, how we communicate and how we respond emotionally.

It begins to make sense why so many gender traits frustrate and irritate, since we don't understand them.

After the very compelling compare-and-contrast lesson on brain differences, the book devotes a chapter to each of the eight strategies that happily married men claim are the most important factors for enjoying a happy marriage while keeping a strong sense of themselves as male. The chapters include:

Make your marriage your job

Know your wife

Be home now

Expect conflict and deal with it

Learn to listen

Aim to please

Understand the truth about sex

Introduce yourself

Each chapter has personal stories, along with insight, advice and useful TO DO lists to help organize the material and make it easy for everyone to follow the action steps.

Many marriages fail because of preconceived notions about how men and women should relate to each other. This book explores new and effective ways for men and women to understand and appreciate each other without obliterating the essential essence of their biology and their mental and physical make up. Dr Haltzman explains to men that they are able to improve and save their marriages precisely because they have the innate skills to succeed in relationships.

Haltzman concludes that, "when men worked hard to improve their marriages using their inborn manly skills to put their wives' needs above their own, not only did their marriages improve, but they were happier and more fulfilled than at any other point in their lives".

And women with important insight into the reasons their husbands behave the way they do, help their men to be more successful partners.

Sheena Berg enjoys writing articles for the StepHeroes step parenting tips newsletter. To discover more about happily married men, there's no substitute for reading "The Secrets of Happily Married Men" by Dr. Scott Haltzman